been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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