He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
