she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
