the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Blow job season was short but glorious.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
