Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
