if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
