He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
