i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
