real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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