his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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