"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
