Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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