you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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