i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
