Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
