OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
