She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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