did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
