I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
