he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
