the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So many bounce houses so little time
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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