This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize