Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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