sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
