Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
