I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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