Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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