Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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