moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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