Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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