he wants to bone in the snuggie
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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