Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
