tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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