I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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