I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
