I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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