just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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