Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
