there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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