I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
