My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
