The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
bring money and cleavage
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize