I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
