he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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