remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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