I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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