party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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