her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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