So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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