your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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