i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
