It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
is wine microwaveable?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
