woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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