I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
