it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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