I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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